This is not an effective strategy for stifling dissent.
Monday, 28 September 2009
Monday, 21 September 2009
Country Music
Who're you?
I'm Marlowe.
It's my second name. Clarence Marlowe. Not my middle name, I don't have a middle name. I go just by Marlowe.
I play the guitar. I have that red one, that yaller one... Now see, I'm real country, you probably don't understand me. When I say yaller, I mean the color. I've got a Fender, a Gibson, I have seven guitars.
You waiting for someone?
I have a four wheel drive. Not everyone has one of those. A Ram Raider. It's not like a Bronco! It's a Ram Raider. It's like a Land Rover. I'm about to go to Philadelphia to get another. Another four wheel drive. Philadelphia, Mississippi. All that gambling out there, I might do a little gambling on the way.
Have you been married? Just asking.
Me? Yeuh, twice. It didn't work out like I wanted. Got a restraining order on her the second time.
We still see each other. Can't keep her away. But, I do what I want.
Did you come with someone? I don't want any trouble.
How old are you?
30, well you're still pretty.
Are you taller than me? I like ladies that are tall and slim and pretty, not fat like me.
Me? I'm 20. No, 30. Well, I'm in my 50's.
This is my telephone right here. I keep it in here. Do you have one? My number's 535-7070.
Just sayin. It's an easy number.
These guys think they're so good but they're not. They think I want to play with them but I don't want them. My brother, he was the best player around.
There was a girl once here. She was going with another guy and then she was going with me and then she said she was going with someone in Tuscaloosa but it turned out it was that other guy and he stole $285 from her but she took him back, but she said to me I want you and I said well I don't want you, and I didn't. I didn't want her.
He thinks he's the boss up there, telling us not to play. Well then, I'm not playing, for the rest of the night. Used to be nobody could beat me. Also, that other guy up there, Buddy, he was the best around but now he has arthritis.
I've got blood pressure.
I like you, you're like me, you just say whatever you want.
I sell cars and tractors, a little bit of this and that.
Hey Butch.
You seeing him?
I have no vices. I don't smoke, I don't drink. Only one vice- flirtin, that's right.
I've gotta take my medicine. Wait, no, where you going, wait a minute, I've just gotta take my medicine.
I'm Marlowe.
It's my second name. Clarence Marlowe. Not my middle name, I don't have a middle name. I go just by Marlowe.
I play the guitar. I have that red one, that yaller one... Now see, I'm real country, you probably don't understand me. When I say yaller, I mean the color. I've got a Fender, a Gibson, I have seven guitars.
You waiting for someone?
I have a four wheel drive. Not everyone has one of those. A Ram Raider. It's not like a Bronco! It's a Ram Raider. It's like a Land Rover. I'm about to go to Philadelphia to get another. Another four wheel drive. Philadelphia, Mississippi. All that gambling out there, I might do a little gambling on the way.
Have you been married? Just asking.
Me? Yeuh, twice. It didn't work out like I wanted. Got a restraining order on her the second time.
We still see each other. Can't keep her away. But, I do what I want.
Did you come with someone? I don't want any trouble.
How old are you?
30, well you're still pretty.
Are you taller than me? I like ladies that are tall and slim and pretty, not fat like me.
Me? I'm 20. No, 30. Well, I'm in my 50's.
This is my telephone right here. I keep it in here. Do you have one? My number's 535-7070.
Just sayin. It's an easy number.
These guys think they're so good but they're not. They think I want to play with them but I don't want them. My brother, he was the best player around.
There was a girl once here. She was going with another guy and then she was going with me and then she said she was going with someone in Tuscaloosa but it turned out it was that other guy and he stole $285 from her but she took him back, but she said to me I want you and I said well I don't want you, and I didn't. I didn't want her.
He thinks he's the boss up there, telling us not to play. Well then, I'm not playing, for the rest of the night. Used to be nobody could beat me. Also, that other guy up there, Buddy, he was the best around but now he has arthritis.
I've got blood pressure.
I like you, you're like me, you just say whatever you want.
I sell cars and tractors, a little bit of this and that.
Hey Butch.
You seeing him?
I have no vices. I don't smoke, I don't drink. Only one vice- flirtin, that's right.
I've gotta take my medicine. Wait, no, where you going, wait a minute, I've just gotta take my medicine.
Saturday, 19 September 2009
I slippt into the hometown screening of Astra's movie halfway through it. In this way I was able to avoid paying. I'd never seen the auditorium so full; I stood in back and watched the Žižek antics with inward groans: "This is just what I expected, so stupid." But when it became clear I'd not missed the Judy Butler bit I was very glad. I'd never even seen a photograph of her before. Watching her & hearing her I loved her as much as I already did and was moved to brimmy briny eyes by her comment on the Bangor queer-bash murder from several years ago that always gives me the flinches when I walk downtown across that bridge.
Thursday, 17 September 2009
When Heusinger von Waldegg designed the corridor/compartment layout of the European passenger railcar he managed to institute a legacy of perennial vexation against me qua American, qua New-Worlder. I board at Reggio di Calabria, having read on a park bench much of the afternoon. Seeking a seat, I find a new crop of glares behind each successive door. Compelling webs of resistance are stitched of the following: dialect, family ties, tenuous impromptu sleeping-arrangements against vinyl upholstery. I choose not to push through such thickets. The corridor is comfortable to me; its anonymity, its window-lined narrowness. But I block passage.
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Speaking of embryos
I have received in the mail two small vials and two buccal swabs. I must swab the inside of each cheek and insert and seal each swab into each vial. My brother tested positive for a gene mutation that indicates he does indeed have the heart condition that brought the implantation of a pace maker, but which he thought he may not actually have, because of the fact that he has never had to change the pace maker battery. Now I must undergo such test. My two questions for my mother: 1: Why should we do this? and 2: What are the implications of this new scientific knowledge?
Her responses: If it turns out I do not have it, I can stop taking the tiny nibbles of atenolol pills I take every night, in the case of arrhythmia. If it turns out I do have it, I will continue to take the pill, and in the case that I should become pregnant I could have a genetic test done for that fetus to see if it too would have such gene presumably allowing for preventative measures for the resulting child.
Or alternatively, if I wanted to have a child, I could have in vitro fertilization in which several embryos would be created and then tested to see which have the mutation and which don't and then one without the mutation could be implanted in my uterus.
I responded that we live in different worlds, I don't even go to the doctor and the idea of paying a million dollars for a child seems kind of crazy. She said it's ten thousand dollars a child, her friend had two children that way to avoid the cystic fibrosis gene, and that one side of the family paid for one, and one side of the family paid for the other, and what a wonderful gift.
I don't know what to do with this new knowledge. While I do not want to be stubbornly regressive in opposition to my family of scientists/science heads, I also feel like getting involved in this sort of thing leads to further dependency on my parents- they justify all the things that I need to do medically, but then they must pay for it because I don't have the kind of lifestyle that can support genetic testing and in vitro fertilization. I'm going to do the test, I got the things in the mail, I guess it's good to know what my risk is for syncope and such things, but I am also wary of the outcomes of this process. I am also however, very close to whole heartedly embracing this process of building our genetic knowledge, at least in theory; my immediate family is already half cyborg, and improved in that manner by science, and with my current plan to compose a child with non relationship derived sperm, I could just go ahead and get that embryo engineered and tested.
Her responses: If it turns out I do not have it, I can stop taking the tiny nibbles of atenolol pills I take every night, in the case of arrhythmia. If it turns out I do have it, I will continue to take the pill, and in the case that I should become pregnant I could have a genetic test done for that fetus to see if it too would have such gene presumably allowing for preventative measures for the resulting child.
Or alternatively, if I wanted to have a child, I could have in vitro fertilization in which several embryos would be created and then tested to see which have the mutation and which don't and then one without the mutation could be implanted in my uterus.
I responded that we live in different worlds, I don't even go to the doctor and the idea of paying a million dollars for a child seems kind of crazy. She said it's ten thousand dollars a child, her friend had two children that way to avoid the cystic fibrosis gene, and that one side of the family paid for one, and one side of the family paid for the other, and what a wonderful gift.
I don't know what to do with this new knowledge. While I do not want to be stubbornly regressive in opposition to my family of scientists/science heads, I also feel like getting involved in this sort of thing leads to further dependency on my parents- they justify all the things that I need to do medically, but then they must pay for it because I don't have the kind of lifestyle that can support genetic testing and in vitro fertilization. I'm going to do the test, I got the things in the mail, I guess it's good to know what my risk is for syncope and such things, but I am also wary of the outcomes of this process. I am also however, very close to whole heartedly embracing this process of building our genetic knowledge, at least in theory; my immediate family is already half cyborg, and improved in that manner by science, and with my current plan to compose a child with non relationship derived sperm, I could just go ahead and get that embryo engineered and tested.
telegraph
I just found out that Upton Hill Regional Park, where I used to go to use the batting cage and play put-put golf when I was a teenager, was the barracks of the US Nazi Party during the sixties, and that the founder of the party, George Lincoln Rockwell, was assassinated around the corner at Dominion Hills Shopping Center. I am surprised that we didn't figure this out in middle school when my friends were obsessed with the mafia, nazis, and serial killers. The discovery of this geographical overlap of us led me to this photo from 1961 of Rockwell at a Nation of Islam meeting:
Apparently Rockwell tried to form a coalition with the Nation of Islam because of both groups' support for racial separation; he praised Elijah Muhammed as the "Black Peoples' Hitler," and Malcolm X as the next promising leader. In spite of which, while on a "Hate Bus" tour in the South in 1965 Rockwell received the following amazing telegraph from Malcolm X:
"This is to warn you that I am no longer held in check from fighting white supremacists by Elijah Muhammad's separatist Black Muslim movement, and that if your present racist agitation against our people there in Alabama causes physical harm to Reverend King or any other black Americans who are only attempting to enjoy their rights as free human beings, that you and your Ku Klux Klan friends will be met with maximum physical retaliation from those of us who are not hand-cuffed by the disarming philosophy of nonviolence, and who believe in asserting our right of self-defense – by any means necessary."
Apparently Rockwell tried to form a coalition with the Nation of Islam because of both groups' support for racial separation; he praised Elijah Muhammed as the "Black Peoples' Hitler," and Malcolm X as the next promising leader. In spite of which, while on a "Hate Bus" tour in the South in 1965 Rockwell received the following amazing telegraph from Malcolm X:
"This is to warn you that I am no longer held in check from fighting white supremacists by Elijah Muhammad's separatist Black Muslim movement, and that if your present racist agitation against our people there in Alabama causes physical harm to Reverend King or any other black Americans who are only attempting to enjoy their rights as free human beings, that you and your Ku Klux Klan friends will be met with maximum physical retaliation from those of us who are not hand-cuffed by the disarming philosophy of nonviolence, and who believe in asserting our right of self-defense – by any means necessary."
Friday, 11 September 2009
...I HAVE ROID RAGE!!!! GOTTA KEEP UP LEN
Chem
wachel/
7:11pmRachel
chemical!
wutsup
7:12pmChem
how bout this
7:12pmRachel
i love it
i really do
because i am busy and crazy
7:12pmChem
just doing a wittle computa work
7:12pmRachel
so its nice to hear from you
thesis?
7:12pmChem
yup you are busysysysysy
yup just entered joanna's manuscript
7:12pmRachel
kind of sucks
great!
7:13pmChem
what're you studying
?
7:13pmRachel
anatomy
7:13pmChem
coool
7:13pmRachel
i've done some good things
7:13pmChem
what body part
7:14pmRachel
shoulder and armpit
7:14pmChem
yeah. right on.
7:15pmRachel
i had my first day of doctor shadowing today and it was cool
family health center
7:15pmChem
good
7:15pmRachel
but the academic part is just wow
so much work
7:15pmChem
wow what
yeah..
turns out i can't go to penland bcuz it starts in february
but its ok
7:15pmRachel
i miss you
hey are you applying to penland?
7:16pmChem
i miss you too
7:16pmRachel
being so busy makes me feel like i need to take life by the horns or some shit
how do you feel about not applying to penland?
7:17pmChem
i feel ok about it
7:17pmRachel
7:18pmChem
but i wrote it before you wrote about penland chat is so weerd
ok anyway
it's ok
7:18pmChem
i don't mind
i'll just apply next year
or do something else
7:18pmRachel
neat
yeah
7:19pmChem
like make sweet love with bernice
7:19pmRachel
yeah!
7:19pmChem
i wish
7:19pmRachel
who is that?
your teacher?
7:21pmRachel
in this quiet space i just want to mention that i am in a great elective "medical/legal issues and our changing concepts of reproduction and the family" - a joint course with vt law school
the first meeting was the shit
7:21pmChem
it is funny i was just reading in a picture book that belgium has the flemingers and the walloons and the flemingers are large, monstrous, light, slow and quiet and the walloons are small, dark, and impulsive, and bernice was (that course sounds rad) always talking about how flems are staid and she was having trouble with so many outgoing americans
and her emails to me are like formal letters
it is funny
7:23pmRachel
i like it when people make technological communications polite and kind of formal...its romantic
how is bammy?
how is backy?
gordo?
7:25pmChem
i agree. i uncharacteristically wrote her an email that said things like "i LOVED working with you" and i'm sure she didn't know what to do w/ it
bammy is crappy
but normal
7:25pmRachel
in this quiet space i'll tell you that human dissection really does help you learn
7:26pmChem
my backywhacky is not hurting so much now i am just trying not to fuck it up again
gordo was empty and i got some work done.
7:26pmRachel
those things sound good
7:26pmChem
almost attacked by a great dane
7:26pmRachel
wft
what fuck the?
but what happened?
7:27pmChem
because i think the owner couldn't possibly imagine someone would be walking down the street because even though it is a tiny and completely walkable/bikable town everyone drives absolutely everywhere
7:27pmRachel
i know its not funny but its hard not to laugh
7:27pmChem
and the grocery store has bullshit food and many people are obese
7:28pmRachel
it reminds me of how jason's bammy relatives call orange soda orange juice
7:28pmChem
the mayor is really nice he was a firefighter and now owns a bookstore which he said he always wanted to do because he thinks reading is so important and on the weekend he holds court and people come talk to him
7:29pmRachel
a great thing about a small town
local government is completely different in small towns
when do you get a break?
7:30pmChem
also yesterday was todd's bday and i went out to eat with his parents and his mom said things like "i'm just a southern gal, i ain't never been nowhere, i don't know how to say any of these... sooovaka? (souvlaki). and she also said toddie do you remember when i used to make barf caserole (todd: yeah, that was good), well this food looks way more like barf and then they (parents) would crack up for 10 minutes
7:31pmRachel
yes!
7:31pmChem
also his father kept repeating over and over spicy chicken with RIIIIIICE!
7:31pmRachel
lets make barf casserole for our offspring
7:31pmChem
totally
it was funny
7:31pmRachel
that must be where toddie gets his coolness
thinking about peoples parents reminds me of this fucking awesome elective
embryo donor controversies and non traditional families
it blew my mind i'm so glad i'm in it
7:33pmChem
whoa, so you have two "nontraditional" ones
7:33pmRachel
no its just one elective
with the best teachers
7:33pmChem
oh ok same one
sounds good
7:33pmRachel
two awesome ladies, both doctoras and one is also a lawyer
and we read about this case from 8 years ago
and talked about what we would do if we were the court
then they told us what the court did
it was unbelievable
7:34pmChem
did they align with yall
7:34pmRachel
it made me want to tell all my friends to become lawyers
7:34pmChem
oh. so they didn't
7:35pmRachel
in some ways but mostly not
just real quick
there was a single woman who wanted to have a baby
7:35pmChem
fuck that bullshit already
7:35pmRachel
so she went to a clinic for a donated embryo because she didn't want to mess with paternity rights of sperm donors
(lets just stop right there)
so anyway the fucking doctor
accidentally implants in her an embryo that was not donated but belonged to a couple who they helped get preggers
7:36pmChem
i didn't even know you could get an embryo
7:36pmRachel
and the doc covered it up
7:36pmChem
that means it doesn't have your jeans?
7:37pmRachel
yes
then one of the docs staff threatened to out him
so he went to the woman's house with PRESENTS FOR HER BABY
7:37pmChem
why did he do that- was it on purpose?
7:37pmRachel
and told her he fucked up (but he didn't tell her about the cover up)
accident
and she's like, "oh, we're all reasonable people, lets just talk it out"...
and she's been in court ever since
8 years
the son is in therapy
the fucking embryo parents moved into her town so they could sue for custody
now she only has 60% custody
7:39pmChem
whoa... so if they had been ok w it it wouldve been ok but they weren't?
7:40pmRachel
and the embryo dad is suing AGAIN because he wants full custody
no, the dad is like, "every sperm is sacred"
7:40pmChem
annoying
7:41pmRachel
when she first went to a lawyer
the lawyer was like, "is there anyone you could marry? anyone at all?
7:41pmChem
ha
i guess i've always assumed when i want to have a kid i'll just get one of my friends to sleep with me but maybe that'll be harder than i think
7:42pmRachel
i think its a good route in our circles
who should be your baby daddy?
7:42pmChem
i should've gotten seth's sperm when i could. god damn it.
7:43pmRachel
yeah, i wish he would be into it but
hmmm
dan has a bad back
7:43pmChem
yeah i want him to be my baby daddy. i would leave the country.
two bad backs is no good
7:44pmRachel
wow dan is calling me!
7:44pmChem
whoa!
you can get it if you want
i might should get out of 5th floor
7:44pmRachel
i got it but he says hi
7:44pmChem
hi dan
or we could try to negotiate this conference call
7:45pmRachel
jessica rosenberg just started chatting with me!!!
overload
7:45pmChem
who's that?
first girlfriend?
7:45pmRachel
yup
7:45pmChem
whoa i want to chat with her.
PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!
7:46pmRachel
aaaaaaah!
7:46pmChem
just thought i'd throw that in the mix
7:46pmRachel
harumph
7:46pmChem
YOU LOVE THEM MORE!!!!!!!!
7:46pmRachel
I LOVE YOU MORE!
7:46pmChem
I KNEW IT!!!!!!!
I KNEW THAT!!!!!!!!!
7:47pmRachel
i hope so
i should go study and end these chats
7:47pmChem
ok i think i gotta get something to eat to properly manage anziety
yeah end this shit
7:47pmRachel
ok let me know how to handle it when you find out
anxiet
y
peace out my love
7:48pmChem
i can tell you one thing- alcohol, caffeine, and guilty sex are not helping
hahahahahhahahahahahaha
lol
lol
lol
7:48pmRachel
yeah hilarious
7:49pmChem
iotflmao
ykwimb?
7:49pmRachel
i hope to talk more when i have time soon
7:49pmChem
i'm on the floor laughing my ass off. you know what i mean biatch?
this is gonna be the way we talk for the next 4 years!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaaha
lol
lol
7:50pmRachel
fuck no
don't even
i can't handle
7:50pmChem
i think the "builder's" bar i recently ate is fucking me up. i have roid rage.
my mom sent me it in the mail. thanks ma.
ok bye bye bye ratch?
7:51pmRachel
bye friend
i really love you
7:51pmChem
bye toodles ciao. i love you too.
7:51pmRachel
take care of yourself for me
xo
7:51pmChem
i will try.
tell me if you come with good anxiety remedies..
chow
7:52pmRachel
later alligator
wachel/
7:11pmRachel
chemical!
wutsup
7:12pmChem
how bout this
7:12pmRachel
i love it
i really do
because i am busy and crazy
7:12pmChem
just doing a wittle computa work
7:12pmRachel
so its nice to hear from you
thesis?
7:12pmChem
yup you are busysysysysy
yup just entered joanna's manuscript
7:12pmRachel
kind of sucks
great!
7:13pmChem
what're you studying
?
7:13pmRachel
anatomy
7:13pmChem
coool
7:13pmRachel
i've done some good things
7:13pmChem
what body part
7:14pmRachel
shoulder and armpit
7:14pmChem
yeah. right on.
7:15pmRachel
i had my first day of doctor shadowing today and it was cool
family health center
7:15pmChem
good
7:15pmRachel
but the academic part is just wow
so much work
7:15pmChem
wow what
yeah..
turns out i can't go to penland bcuz it starts in february
but its ok
7:15pmRachel
i miss you
hey are you applying to penland?
7:16pmChem
i miss you too
7:16pmRachel
being so busy makes me feel like i need to take life by the horns or some shit
how do you feel about not applying to penland?
7:17pmChem
i feel ok about it
7:17pmRachel
7:18pmChem
but i wrote it before you wrote about penland chat is so weerd
ok anyway
it's ok
7:18pmChem
i don't mind
i'll just apply next year
or do something else
7:18pmRachel
neat
yeah
7:19pmChem
like make sweet love with bernice
7:19pmRachel
yeah!
7:19pmChem
i wish
7:19pmRachel
who is that?
your teacher?
7:21pmRachel
in this quiet space i just want to mention that i am in a great elective "medical/legal issues and our changing concepts of reproduction and the family" - a joint course with vt law school
the first meeting was the shit
7:21pmChem
it is funny i was just reading in a picture book that belgium has the flemingers and the walloons and the flemingers are large, monstrous, light, slow and quiet and the walloons are small, dark, and impulsive, and bernice was (that course sounds rad) always talking about how flems are staid and she was having trouble with so many outgoing americans
and her emails to me are like formal letters
it is funny
7:23pmRachel
i like it when people make technological communications polite and kind of formal...its romantic
how is bammy?
how is backy?
gordo?
7:25pmChem
i agree. i uncharacteristically wrote her an email that said things like "i LOVED working with you" and i'm sure she didn't know what to do w/ it
bammy is crappy
but normal
7:25pmRachel
in this quiet space i'll tell you that human dissection really does help you learn
7:26pmChem
my backywhacky is not hurting so much now i am just trying not to fuck it up again
gordo was empty and i got some work done.
7:26pmRachel
those things sound good
7:26pmChem
almost attacked by a great dane
7:26pmRachel
wft
what fuck the?
but what happened?
7:27pmChem
because i think the owner couldn't possibly imagine someone would be walking down the street because even though it is a tiny and completely walkable/bikable town everyone drives absolutely everywhere
7:27pmRachel
i know its not funny but its hard not to laugh
7:27pmChem
and the grocery store has bullshit food and many people are obese
7:28pmRachel
it reminds me of how jason's bammy relatives call orange soda orange juice
7:28pmChem
the mayor is really nice he was a firefighter and now owns a bookstore which he said he always wanted to do because he thinks reading is so important and on the weekend he holds court and people come talk to him
7:29pmRachel
a great thing about a small town
local government is completely different in small towns
when do you get a break?
7:30pmChem
also yesterday was todd's bday and i went out to eat with his parents and his mom said things like "i'm just a southern gal, i ain't never been nowhere, i don't know how to say any of these... sooovaka? (souvlaki). and she also said toddie do you remember when i used to make barf caserole (todd: yeah, that was good), well this food looks way more like barf and then they (parents) would crack up for 10 minutes
7:31pmRachel
yes!
7:31pmChem
also his father kept repeating over and over spicy chicken with RIIIIIICE!
7:31pmRachel
lets make barf casserole for our offspring
7:31pmChem
totally
it was funny
7:31pmRachel
that must be where toddie gets his coolness
thinking about peoples parents reminds me of this fucking awesome elective
embryo donor controversies and non traditional families
it blew my mind i'm so glad i'm in it
7:33pmChem
whoa, so you have two "nontraditional" ones
7:33pmRachel
no its just one elective
with the best teachers
7:33pmChem
oh ok same one
sounds good
7:33pmRachel
two awesome ladies, both doctoras and one is also a lawyer
and we read about this case from 8 years ago
and talked about what we would do if we were the court
then they told us what the court did
it was unbelievable
7:34pmChem
did they align with yall
7:34pmRachel
it made me want to tell all my friends to become lawyers
7:34pmChem
oh. so they didn't
7:35pmRachel
in some ways but mostly not
just real quick
there was a single woman who wanted to have a baby
7:35pmChem
fuck that bullshit already
7:35pmRachel
so she went to a clinic for a donated embryo because she didn't want to mess with paternity rights of sperm donors
(lets just stop right there)
so anyway the fucking doctor
accidentally implants in her an embryo that was not donated but belonged to a couple who they helped get preggers
7:36pmChem
i didn't even know you could get an embryo
7:36pmRachel
and the doc covered it up
7:36pmChem
that means it doesn't have your jeans?
7:37pmRachel
yes
then one of the docs staff threatened to out him
so he went to the woman's house with PRESENTS FOR HER BABY
7:37pmChem
why did he do that- was it on purpose?
7:37pmRachel
and told her he fucked up (but he didn't tell her about the cover up)
accident
and she's like, "oh, we're all reasonable people, lets just talk it out"...
and she's been in court ever since
8 years
the son is in therapy
the fucking embryo parents moved into her town so they could sue for custody
now she only has 60% custody
7:39pmChem
whoa... so if they had been ok w it it wouldve been ok but they weren't?
7:40pmRachel
and the embryo dad is suing AGAIN because he wants full custody
no, the dad is like, "every sperm is sacred"
7:40pmChem
annoying
7:41pmRachel
when she first went to a lawyer
the lawyer was like, "is there anyone you could marry? anyone at all?
7:41pmChem
ha
i guess i've always assumed when i want to have a kid i'll just get one of my friends to sleep with me but maybe that'll be harder than i think
7:42pmRachel
i think its a good route in our circles
who should be your baby daddy?
7:42pmChem
i should've gotten seth's sperm when i could. god damn it.
7:43pmRachel
yeah, i wish he would be into it but
hmmm
dan has a bad back
7:43pmChem
yeah i want him to be my baby daddy. i would leave the country.
two bad backs is no good
7:44pmRachel
wow dan is calling me!
7:44pmChem
whoa!
you can get it if you want
i might should get out of 5th floor
7:44pmRachel
i got it but he says hi
7:44pmChem
hi dan
or we could try to negotiate this conference call
7:45pmRachel
jessica rosenberg just started chatting with me!!!
overload
7:45pmChem
who's that?
first girlfriend?
7:45pmRachel
yup
7:45pmChem
whoa i want to chat with her.
PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!
7:46pmRachel
aaaaaaah!
7:46pmChem
just thought i'd throw that in the mix
7:46pmRachel
harumph
7:46pmChem
YOU LOVE THEM MORE!!!!!!!!
7:46pmRachel
I LOVE YOU MORE!
7:46pmChem
I KNEW IT!!!!!!!
I KNEW THAT!!!!!!!!!
7:47pmRachel
i hope so
i should go study and end these chats
7:47pmChem
ok i think i gotta get something to eat to properly manage anziety
yeah end this shit
7:47pmRachel
ok let me know how to handle it when you find out
anxiet
y
peace out my love
7:48pmChem
i can tell you one thing- alcohol, caffeine, and guilty sex are not helping
hahahahahhahahahahahaha
lol
lol
lol
7:48pmRachel
yeah hilarious
7:49pmChem
iotflmao
ykwimb?
7:49pmRachel
i hope to talk more when i have time soon
7:49pmChem
i'm on the floor laughing my ass off. you know what i mean biatch?
this is gonna be the way we talk for the next 4 years!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaaha
lol
lol
7:50pmRachel
fuck no
don't even
i can't handle
7:50pmChem
i think the "builder's" bar i recently ate is fucking me up. i have roid rage.
my mom sent me it in the mail. thanks ma.
ok bye bye bye ratch?
7:51pmRachel
bye friend
i really love you
7:51pmChem
bye toodles ciao. i love you too.
7:51pmRachel
take care of yourself for me
xo
7:51pmChem
i will try.
tell me if you come with good anxiety remedies..
chow
7:52pmRachel
later alligator
Monday, 7 September 2009
I've developed nearly constant anxiety. If it's not one thing it's another. I can push this anxiety away with work, so therefore I must always be working. I think I can remember days when I daydreamed, when I relished dozing as a pleasurable and creative time. I wonder if I will ever daydream again?
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