Passing the Serpeni Pillar on a windy trip to work today, I paused for a moment to watch the guards in their salute. I was hit by a wave of envy, not for them, but for what they almost are but are not. Maybe other people (those who get off on uniforms) feel differently, but I think that the dress-up men are allowed is far inferior to that of women. Men play dress-up by taking power; the uniforms are the slight, pitiful amount of play that resides inside (on the outsides of?) the structures that maintain that power relation. Meant to show strength, uniforms concede weakness, just as punishment and manipulation (like of nationalisms!) can come from silenced vulnerability. I root my poverty (of being part man) in my lack of sanctioned dress-up. I don't exactly want to engage in the same kind of dress-up that women here are allowed; I envy makeup and heels and accessories and other pizz-pazz, but I do not feel comfortable with these things on my person. However, I also feel strongly that patriarchy is restricting my opportunities for play.